Everybody is prioritizing life over work. But investing too little in your job comes with its own risks. (2023)

Too much will burn you out. Too little can leave you lonely.


The insidious creep of job burnout was inescapable when I spoke with more than a dozen ambitious midcareer women for an article last winter. They described how the dynamics of their remote workplaces, coupled with pandemic-related stressors, had been seriously detrimental to their mental and physical well-being. Several of them decided enough was enough and quit. Though their specific circumstances were unique, the women shared a trait: They'd cared far too much about their jobs, and they knew it.

Many people were in the same boat. Burnout was generally understood to be a leading cause — if not the leading cause — of the Great Resignation, in which nearly 100 million Americans quit their job in two years. Those who didn't quit tried caring less about their jobs, coasting through work responsibilities, and "quiet quitting." Headlines and social-media announcements seemed to indicate everyone had reached the same conclusion at once: There are more important things to care about than your job.

But market forces have a way of shifting worker perspectives. As job insecurity mounts across industries such as tech and media, and in a wobbly global economy punctuated by several high-profile bank failures, at least some recent balance seekers are almost certainly finding themselves doubling down on work.

In reality, professional ambition is a double-edged sword. On the one hand, caring too much about your career makes you more likely to neglect your nonwork relationships, hobbies, and well-being. But research indicates that not caring about your work can also bring about malaise. After all, most of us have to work for a living. And it's far more emotionally sustainable to invest the majority of your waking hours in a vocation that feeds your interests and an employer that supports your professional goals than to seethe or dissociate for those 40-odd hours of every week.

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Health and happiness require a kind of personal-investment tightrope walk. Striking the right balance between caring about your work and not caring about your work too much can be the difference between a life that's rich and satisfying and one that's marred by loneliness, exhaustion, and despair. That's no exaggeration: Research suggests a person's relationship to their job is a key predictor of their overall sense of happiness. But finding that equilibrium may be trickier now than it was a year ago — or at any other point in recent memory.

The mixed bag of returning to the office

At the beginning of the pandemic, many workers found that the shift to fully remote work blurred the line between their working and nonworking hours. Bosses' increased micromanagement, adoption of virtual productivity-monitoring tools (aka bossware), and failure to reconcile dips in output with the overlapping challenges of the global pandemic led to overwork and additional stress. At the same time, the distance made it easier for some workers to disconnect emotionally from their job and prioritize other parts of their life. Though surveys have suggested that US workers prefer the flexibility afforded by the ability to work from home, the abrupt shift still left people reeling. Gallup survey data indicates that from 2020 to 2021 US worker engagement declined for the first time in a decade — and then slid even further in 2022.

Now workers are getting used to another shift. Return-to-office mandates began pretty much the moment employers could get away with issuing them. And even though many companies don't require full-time in-person attendance, more employers have adopted hybrid and flexible work schedules that require workers to spend some time in the office. The people who got used to working remotely three years ago are now trying to remember what it's like to commute to and work in a physical office.

While work friendships can stifle loneliness, the centrality of a job in American social life does not bode particularly well for Americans' work-life balance.

Some of those people have been reminded of the benefits of the office. For one, working in an office can make it easier to enforce boundaries with employers — when workers head home at 5 o'clock, they're done for the day. The increase in collegial face time has also rekindled office friendships. In a survey conducted in June by the American Enterprise Institute, more than half of respondents said they'd met a close friend at work or through their spouse's workplace. The report points out that a lack of social connection at work tracks with increased feelings of loneliness and isolation among workers in general.

But while work friendships can stifle loneliness, the centrality of a job in American social life does not bode particularly well for Americans' work-life balance. It can make it harder to disengage from work and contributes to the normalization of "workism," a term to describe a society's work-first mindset, which often leads to burnout.


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The AEI survey also found that Americans tend to think about work when they aren't working, which is linked to increased feelings of anxiety. Maybe because they get the worst of both worlds, hybrid workers were far more likely than fully remote or fully in-person employees to say they thought about work outside of their working hours. This kind of overinvestment in work isn't helped by the fact that workers in the US work a lot more than those in other developed economies.

So as our work lives are once again thrown for a loop, a question arises: What's the difference between simply being invested in your job and being unhealthily obsessed? Unfortunately, the answer isn't so cut and dried.

Problematic enmeshment

Janna Koretz, a psychologist whose clinical practice, Azimuth, in Boston and Nantucket, Massachusetts, specializes in the mental-health challenges of entrepreneurs and other high-performance workers, told me there's a fine line between "when work becomes your whole identity or the only thing you think about" and "being engaged and interested in spending a lot of time on your job while having other things going on in your life that are also important to you."

As Koretz explained, it's not necessarily a bad thing for a job to take up the bulk of a person's time and headspace. It also isn't inherently harmful for one's identity to be subsumed by the work they do. "These things are not necessarily a problem — until they become a problem for you or a loved one," Koretz said.

She added that when this "enmeshment" with work does become problematic, it tends to do so in a few specific ways. Perhaps the most obvious is burnout, which the World Health Organization defines as an "occupational phenomenon" characterized by feelings of exhaustion, cynicism, or distance from one's job, and reduced professional efficacy.


The more invested you are in your work, the more anxious you can be about work.

But while it reigns in notoriety, burnout is just one of the possible ramifications of being too invested in your job. Koretz described another common scenario: A highly driven professional accomplishes all the benchmarks necessary to achieve a career goal — to make partner at a law firm, for instance — only to notice the extent of the sacrifices they'd made to get to their destination.

"They kind of look around and they realize that maybe they also wanted to have a romantic partner, or to have a family, or that they don't have a ton of friends in the area, or they miss doing their hobbies," Koretz said.


Problematic job enmeshment is often also exposed by changes in a worker's professional circumstances, like a company's acquisition or downsizing. For those who've put all their eggs in the proverbial basket of their job, Koretz said, these times of transition can trigger a kind of identity crisis. This phenomenon has been pronounced following the recent wave of tech-industry layoffs, which left scores of ambitious (and overworked) professionals suddenly reevaluating the corporate grind. And as TikTok trends can attest, people in these situations can become unmoored, unsure of who they are and what they desire — especially when their careers are intrinsic to their sense of self.

"You never get exclusively beneficial effects from something like workplace investment — it always comes at a cost," Brent Orrell, a senior fellow at the American Enterprise Institute who helped write the workplace-social-capital report, told me. "I think the more invested you are in your work, the more anxious you can be about work."

Orrell's hypothesis is borne out by his team's research. Survey participants who reported deriving a strong sense of identity and purpose from their jobs were far likelier to also report feeling imposter syndrome, or the sense that they didn't belong in their jobs.


College-educated women were the most likely to report being particularly invested in their jobs as sources of personal fulfillment and camaraderie — more so than both non-college-educated and college-educated men. This gender imbalance indicates a reversal of the cultural archetype of the Don Draper-esque male workaholic.

"It's just part and parcel with what we've been seeing in American society in terms of male withdrawal from the workforce as women are moving to the fore in a broad range of positions that they haven't had an opportunity to lead in in the past," Orrell said.

Disparate rates of worker investment may also be among the factors driving the gender gap in burnout. A report from Future Forum said that in its survey of nearly 11,000 workers in August, women were 32% more likely than men to report feeling burned out.

Koretz said that while these gender disparities have not been reflected in her clinical practice — roughly equal numbers of women and men come to her offices — she agreed that gender can inform how people relate to their jobs. In particular, Koretz suspects that some women feel pressure to prove themselves at work because of the cognitive dissonance of wanting to spend more time raising children or to take time off to start a family while also wanting to foster a career. Lacking clarity about how to solve this impossible gender-asymmetric time equation, some women may be inclined to go all in on their jobs in response — in a follow-up email, Koretz described the sentiment as "'I am unsure how to split my time, so I am going to throw myself into work so I know it is worth it because I continue to advance' or 'I can have it all, watch me do it.'"

The great disentanglement

Though there's certainly a personal element in finding the right balance, burnout and its bedfellows are ultimately the product of organizational dysfunction. Last fall, the Office of the Surgeon General released guidelines for organizations to better support workers' mental health and well-being in the workplace. The report identified work-life harmony as one of the five pillars of a healthy workforce and recommended companies provide workers more autonomy over how work gets done, make schedules as flexible and predictable as possible, respect workers' boundaries between work and nonwork time, and increase workers' access to paid leave.

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The fact that organizations continue to neglect the work-life balance of their staffers, and that so many American workers keep diving into the cult of workism, speaks to deeply entrenched societal norms that pair a Protestant work ethic with far less worker power than in other wealthy, democratic nations. At the individual level, those forces are often difficult to resist.

"People don't get a ton of vacation in the United States," Koretz said. "People don't get maternity leave. The idea is that you just work and work and work and work and work. We're not set up for success."

These social mores might benefit employers, but they harm everyone else. Hope is on the horizon thanks to the recent bump in union membership in sectors such as service, media, and tech. Unions have been found to improve both the wages and the workplace standards of even nonunionized workplaces, and the trend could have a ripple effect across industries.

Workers can also take small steps toward improving their work-life balance by setting aside time each day and each week for nonwork priorities. These shifts don't need to be dramatic to have an impact, Koretz told me. Even taking breaks during the workday or regularly scheduling time with friends and loved ones outside of working hours can make a difference in redistributing one's proverbial eggs — and affirming that there's more to life than work.

Kelli María Korducki is a journalist and author, and a senior editor at The Atlantic.



What is concerned with the proper prioritizing between work and life? ›

Work life balance is a broad concept including proper prioritizing between “work” (career and ambition) on one hand and “life” (Health, pleasure, leisure, family and spiritual development) on the other.

How do you create a work-life balance in order to prioritize your job? ›

Here are eight ways to create a better work-life balance, as well as how to be a supportive manager.
  1. Accept that there is no 'perfect' work-life balance. ...
  2. Find a job that you love. ...
  3. Prioritize your health. ...
  4. Don't be afraid to unplug. ...
  5. Take a vacation. ...
  6. 6. Make time for yourself and your loved ones.

Why is it important to have a work-life balance? ›

With a satisfactory work-life balance, employers can reap a range of benefits. Productivity is higher, absenteeism is lower, and physical and mental health improves with a higher commitment and motivation to work. Personal relationships can also benefit from achieving this balance.

What causes poor work-life balance? ›

The Causes of Work-Life Imbalance

60 percent of employees dealing with work-life imbalance blame bad or overbearing bosses. 39 percent point to consistently working beyond standard business hours. 39 percent claim inflexible work hours or rigid time-off scheduling.

How do you balance work and personal life interview question answer? ›

5 work-life balance interview questions with sample answers
  • How do you balance your work and personal life effectively? ...
  • How would you help your team prepare if you were planning to leave for a vacation? ...
  • How would you approach text messages or emails about work on the weekends?
Dec 9, 2022

What are the three 3 most important priorities in your life? ›

And, as author and business consultant Jim Collins famously said, “If you have more than three priorities, you don't have any.” What exactly are these three magical priorities in life? Well, it's simple. Your health, relationships, and purpose.

How do you balance your work and life goals? ›

Steps to a Work-Life Balance
  1. Track Your Time. Analyzing your present situation is the beginning step in achieving a balanced life. ...
  2. Determine Your Priorities. ...
  3. Set Specific Goals. ...
  4. Schedule Scrupulously. ...
  5. Establish Boundaries. ...
  6. Take Care of Your Health. ...
  7. Nurture Your Family/Relationships. ...
  8. Make Time for You.
Apr 18, 2012

How do you set goals for work-life balance? ›

Work-life balance goals need to be SMART goals - Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Realistic and Time Framed. Most people will have a few or several SMART work-life balance goals which when combined and achieved will result in a good work-life balance.

Do employees want work-life balance? ›

It is common for employees to feel happier, healthier, and more fulfilled when they can balance work and life responsibilities. A healthy lifestyle and a low level of stress are important factors that contribute to a long and healthy life.

What are the five steps to working life balance? ›

5 steps to achieving a successful work-life balance
  1. Make to-do lists and learn to love them. I adore to-do lists. ...
  2. Prioritize exercise for better work-life balance. ...
  3. Block out distractions while working and stay focused. ...
  4. Learn to how better delegate work. ...
  5. Give yourself time to relax when you need it.

Is work-life balance important or money? ›

According to a study by Fidelity Investments, when evaluating a job offer, 58% of Millennials and 53% of Gen-Xers cite improved quality of work life as more important than financial benefits. That comes as no surprise when you consider other workplace and lifestyle trends that employees have to contend with.

What does unhealthy work-life balance look like? ›

Job stress, isolating working conditions, few rewards for effort, job insecurity and a lack of control in the job can increase the risk of mental health challenges.

What percentage of people struggle with work-life balance? ›

77% of employees have experienced burnout at least once in their current jobs. 72% of workers believe work-life balance is a very important factor when choosing a job, and 57% of job-seekers say a poor work-life balance is a dealbreaker when they're considering a new job.

Can an employer ask about your personal life? ›

Depending on how they are asked, questions about personal topics, such as marital status, race, and health, can be illegal under federal and some state and local laws. Some types of interview questions can be used to discriminate against applicants, and it is within your rights to refuse to answer them.

What is balance between job and personal life? ›

Work-life balance is typically defined as the amount of time you spend doing your job versus the amount of time you spend with loved ones or pursuing personal interests and hobbies [1]. When work demands more of your time or attention, you will have less time to handle your other responsibilities or passions.

Is it OK to ask about work-life balance in an interview? ›

Asking about work-life balance is usually acceptable during the salary negotiation portion of the interview process or when discussing logistics with the human resources department. However, it's not advisable to ask about it directly during an initial interview.

What is your number 1 priority in life? ›


Your first and foremost priority in life should be YOU. Not in a selfish and self-centered manner, but with self-compassion and understanding. Prioritizing self-care means investing in activities and habits that nurture the body and mind.

What is the biggest priority in your life? ›

​Example list of priorities for life
  • Eating a nutritious diet.
  • Getting regular exercise.
  • Staying out of debt.
  • Saving enough money to buy a home.
  • Doing things that generate happiness.
  • Pursuing a mission or purpose.
  • Going to therapy to work on anxiety or depression.
  • Spending a summer in Europe.

What should come first in life? ›

“Maslow considered physiological needs the most important as all the other needs become secondary until these needs are met.” So, in my opinion, your physiological needs always come first in your life. If you're hungry, sleep-deprived, or in poor health, then how can you be successful in any other area of your life?

What are the six components of work-life balance? ›

As the work-life balance expert, Jeff Davidson believes, there are 6 elements of work-life balance:
  • Self-management. ...
  • Time management. ...
  • Stress management. ...
  • Managing change. ...
  • Managing technology. ...
  • Managing leisure time.

How to have a life outside of work? ›

Consider these tips:
  1. Free up your time. One of the obstacles most people face when attempting to create an active and fulfilling life outside of work is time.
  2. Follow your interests. ...
  3. Be likeable. ...
  4. Unplug. ...
  5. Ask others to spend time with you outside of work. ...
  6. Reconnect with old friends. ...
  7. Make a schedule.
Apr 8, 2022

How do you separate work and personal life? ›

How to Separate Work Life from Home Life
  1. Have a Designated Space for Work.
  2. Use Separate Accounts and Devices for Work.
  3. Avoid Reading Work Messages In Bed.
  4. Stick to a Schedule.
  5. Set Boundaries With Colleagues.
  6. Make Time for Friends and Family.
  7. Maintain Healthy Habits.
  8. Schedule a Time for Housework.

How can I balance my work-life to reduce stress? ›

How to maintain good work-life balance?
  1. Set goals around what you value highly.
  2. Manage your time effectively—review job activities, priorities and success factors.
  3. Create a boundary between balancing work and personal time-leave work at work where possible.
  4. Build resilience and have a positive attitude.
Nov 22, 2013

How does work-life balance affect mental well being? ›

A good work-life balance is essential because it helps reduce stress and prevent burnout in both our professional lives and personal lives. It can also help improve mental health, prevent chronic pain and hypertension, and digestive issues.

What is work-life balance in simple words? ›

Definition. Work-life balance is the state where a person chooses to equally prioritize the demands of work and career and the demands of their personal life. An individual who lacks this balance has more work and home obligations, works longer hours, and lacks personal time.

What are the 3 main goals? ›

There are three types of goals- process, performance, and outcome goals.

What is the new term for work-life balance? ›

Work-Life Integration Is the New Work-Life Balance. Is Your Team Ready? Work-life integration and work-life balance are two distinct ways to think about the boundaries (or lack thereof) between personal and professional lives.

What is your end goal in life? ›

To recap: your end goal should be your vision of what you want to accomplish or where you want to go in life. Your means goals should be the specific plans you'll take to get there.

How many hours a week is a good work-life balance? ›

If you want to achieve the perfect blend of productivity, happiness, and time affluence, a more realistic goal is to work slightly below 40 hours per week. The research shows that even shaving an hour or two off of the standard 40-hour workweek can have huge benefits, both at work and at home.

How many hours is a good work-life balance? ›

In the end, scientists generally agree that the ideal daily working time is around 6 hours, and more concentrated in the morning.

How common is work-life balance? ›

Forty-eight percent of Americans consider themselves to be workaholics, but 72% of people consider work-life balance when job-searching. This article will cover some of the main statistics on work-life balance, as well as what work-life balance is and how you can achieve it yourself.

What are the three components of a work-life balance? ›

Three general categories are considered as central for employee's work life balance: working time arrangements; leave entitlements for those with care responsibilities; and child care.

What are the 4 components of a balanced lifestyle? ›

Experts widely consider exercise, good nutrition, relaxation and sleep crucial to healthy living. While these so-called “four pillars” of good health help keep your body running, they also do wonders for your emotional well-being.

Is there more to life than work? ›

Remember that life is more than just work. There are many other things that are important and deserve your attention. Make time for the people and things that matter most to you. Live each day to the fullest and don't let anything hold you back from living the life you want to live.

Can you be successful with a work-life balance? ›

Work life balance will make you more (not less) successful.

There's a misconception that balance doesn't work for those who want to be successful. But that's just not true (and it's based on a common misconception that work life balance is about settling for less).

How do you know if your life is out of balance? ›

Recognizing When Your Life is Out of Balance (and How to Get it Back)
  1. Vague sense of unease or being unsettled.
  2. Unable to sleep properly.
  3. Can't shake a cold, or get several illnesses in a row.
  4. Shortened temper.
  5. Forgetful.
  6. Less energy.
  7. Desire to overeat.

What are the consequences of not working? ›

Physical health – elevated risk of specific diseases, suppressed immunological function or early death; Psychological health – elevated risk of general distress or specific disorders including depression, anxiety, somatisation, or suicidal behaviour; and.

What is work-life balance burnout? ›

July 29, 2022. Job burnout represents the physical, emotional, or mental stress experienced by people who become too worn out by career and life pressures to work effectively. This exhaustion is accompanied by feelings of doubt about their ability to do their job and the value that they bring to an organization.

What are the five employee signs of struggle? ›

They developed a signs of struggle (SOS) checklist under five categories: distress, withdrawal, reduced attendance, degradations in performance, and extreme behaviors. ...

How can you tell an employee is unhappy? ›

They are passionate about the projects they are working on and will often come in early or at least on time. If your employee suddenly starts coming in late, taking long lunches, and seemingly counting down the hours until they knock off, this is a clear sign that they're unhappy and don't want to be at work.

How do you know if an employee is struggling? ›

7 Signs an Employee is Struggling with their Mental Health:
  1. Change in their physical appearance. ...
  2. Inconsistent behaviour. ...
  3. Absence. ...
  4. Easily irritated. ...
  5. Change in patterns of behaviour. ...
  6. Difficulty in focusing. ...
  7. Worrying. ...
  8. Destructive behaviours.
Dec 28, 2021

What is the root cause of work-life imbalance? ›

The Causes of Work-Life Imbalance

60 percent of employees dealing with work-life imbalance blame bad or overbearing bosses. 39 percent point to consistently working beyond standard business hours. 39 percent claim inflexible work hours or rigid time-off scheduling.

What are the most common causes of poor work-life balance? ›

What are the most common causes of poor work-life balance?
  • Increased expenses without an increase in salary. 1/3 of employees cited this as their top challenge to maintaining a work-life balance.
  • Increased responsibilities at work. ...
  • Increased responsibility at home. ...
  • Working longer hours. ...
  • Having children.

Why do people struggle with work-life balance? ›

Some of the common reasons that lead to a poor work-life balance include: Increased responsibilities at work. Working longer hours. Increased responsibilities at home.

What factors should you consider when prioritizing work? ›

Prioritisation was based on task-related factors such as length, urgency, importance, procedure and reward and non-task-related factors such as intrusiveness, context, source and stress. Individuals have a preset bias in how they organise tasks but with practice people can become more efficient at task prioritisation.

What are the 3 key components to prioritizing? ›

Thoughtful prioritization typically involves creating an agenda, evaluating tasks, and allocating time and work to bring the most value in a short amount of time. Prioritization should be flexible, as you may need to interrupt low-priority tasks for urgent must-dos.

What is the balance between work and life? ›

Work-life balance is typically defined as the amount of time you spend doing your job versus the amount of time you spend with loved ones or pursuing personal interests and hobbies [1]. When work demands more of your time or attention, you will have less time to handle your other responsibilities or passions.

What are three 3 important issues to consider when deciding how to priorities work responsibilities? ›

Consider these steps when prioritizing tasks in the workplace:
  • Decide which tasks are the most important. ...
  • Put your tasks in a calendar. ...
  • Set boundaries. ...
  • Account for distractions. ...
  • Get help from technology. ...
  • Prioritize one task at a time. ...
  • Use a scheduling tool. ...
  • Delegate tasks.
Mar 10, 2023

What are the 2 most important factors to consider when prioritizing risk? ›

  • Identify: listing every potential risk to the project is necessary before any assessments can take place. ...
  • Measure Likelihood: Each risk identified should be given a ranking based on the likelihood of them occurring.

What are four 4 factors that should be considered when prioritizing care? ›

Factors that influence prioritization include client condition, safety factors, available time, and client preferences. A change in client status may very well require reevaluating priorities and changing the planned order of interventions.

What is the most important step in prioritizing? ›

The first step in prioritizing goals is to identify what is important to you and in what order. This step is crucial because it will help you focus and work towards something you feel passionate about whilst being confident you are working on the right thing at the right time.

What are two prioritization strategies? ›

Prioritization Strategies:

Use lists. Do the worst thing first. The Most Important Task Methodology (MIT) The Eisenhower Decision Matrix (Urgent-Important Matrix)

How can I improve my prioritization skills? ›

How to improve task prioritization
  1. Create a master list of all of your tasks. The first step to improving your task prioritization is to create a master list of all of your tasks. ...
  2. Pick out the most urgent tasks. ...
  3. Write numbers next to each task to identify their importance. ...
  4. Create a new list prioritized by importance.
Jun 24, 2022

What can affect work-life balance? ›

Some organisational factors that interfere with work-life balance are stringent rules, excessive workload, hostile work environment, time pressure, and lack of job security.

How does work-life balance affect mental health? ›

Impacts of Poor Work-Life Balance on Mental Health

Workplace burnout can create an increased risk of anxiety, depression, mood disturbances, substance abuse, workplace injuries, and interpersonal conflict between coworkers.

What are the 4 ways you can organize and priorities your work? ›

4 Tips to Remember:
  • Set aside time to plan when you are in a calm and thoughtful mindset.
  • Break larger projects and tasks into smaller pieces with a goal in mind.
  • Schedule uninterrupted time in your calendar to work on the task or project and protect that time!
  • Minimize distractions.

How do you set priorities in life? ›

How to set priorities
  1. Create a list of tasks. ...
  2. Rank your tasks. ...
  3. Allocate time requirements for each task. ...
  4. Use a schedule for your day's priorities. ...
  5. Know when to remove tasks from your to-do list. ...
  6. Plan for the unexpected. ...
  7. Be realistic. ...
  8. Think backward.
Feb 3, 2023


1. This is what makes employees happy at work | The Way We Work, a TED series
2. This Sneaky Psychology Secret Makes You Everyone’s #1 Priority
(Matthew Hussey)
3. Why are Americans choosing to quit their jobs in record numbers?
(60 Minutes)
4. How to know if it’s time to change careers | The Way We Work, a TED series
5. Why Should We Hire You? | Best Answer (from former CEO)
(The Companies Expert)
6. Does Anyone Else Feel Like Everything Has Changed?
(Stephen Antonioni)


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